Farewell to Dispatch

After seven plus years, it’s time to say goodbye to dispatch. I started this job because I wanted to be a cop, but it turns out I’m really not that interested in patting down a criminal’s crotch and asking him if he’s packing. Not at work, anyway. But my time in dispatch has been fun. I’ve earned two degrees, raised four children, and made a lot of great friends. I’m sure I’ll love my time in New Hampshire as I earn my Ph.D., but there will always be things about dispatch that I’ll miss. Here they are:

-Working with Tim K. or Susan for ten hours without even realizing they were there.
-Ta’ne’s lemon craison cookies.
-Teresa’s breath-amplifying salsa.
-Potlucks for every real or made-up occasion, especially with Cassie’s homemade chicken noodle soup.
-Tim R. asking what the good word is, and me always answering him literally with words like supercilious or sesquipedalian.
-Conversations that are only appropriate after 0200.
-Changing Cassie’s screensavers (we all know she’s really a Dallas fan).
-Teasing Jones when he’s grumpy.
-Larry clapping his hands and saying frickstones and coolio.
-Jerry telling Larry to stop clapping his hands.
-Larry calling everyone a slime-gooch, though he clearly doesn’t know what a slime-gooch is (KJ can tell you what it means).
-Larry ending everything in “a-roni,” as in “Go to Tac Five-a-roni.”
-Whapping people with a rubber band and blaming it on Brandon.
-Erin’s Caramelos.
-Trying to beat Brenda at crosswords, and making her feel guilty for cheating.
-Ginna wandering off for break and returning two hours later.
-Megan’s mobile candy store.
-Jeff on Sunday in his BSU gear. Sexy!
-Clinton straightening the chairs, and then straightening them again.
-Sonia laughing till she cries on primary, even when the joke wasn’t that funny.
-Link’s costumes.
-Tracey’s Sonic runs.
-Big Tim’s ability to thrust any conversation into the gutter with nothing more than a nod and a chuckle.
-The fact that Big Tim probably can’t spell conversation or chuckle.
-Cody Howerton’s man-crush on Matthew Mcconaughey.
-Larry’s crickets.
-Big Tim’s Charlie Brown costume.
-The Darigold stench.
-Blaming the Darigold stench on Brenda.
-Brenda taking full credit for the stench.

I’ll miss everyone I’ve worked with at dispatch. Thanks for making it a great time. Ciao!